Friday, August 28, 2009

Mommy Dearest

I'll begin this post by saying I love my Mother dearly, but I can't deal with being around her for an extended period of time. I'm on Day 8 of her staying with me. I wish she'd told me what her intentions were and how long she'd planned on staying, so I could make other arrangements. Little did I know her intention was to be a squatter at my place until she found a job, guess she forgot to tell me that.

At the beginning of last week my Mother calls me and says she's coming to MD for an interview. Mind you she hasn't worked in nearly a year when she packed up one day and moved back to FL to live with relatives then eventually my Grandmother, but that's another story. I get another phone call on Thursday saying that she's on her way. She doesn't end up showing up at my place until after midnight with a car filled to capacity with her life's possessions. After the initial formalities, my first response was you sure have a lot of luggage. She said she had an interview the next day and needed to crash, so I just figured she'd go on her interview and be gone by Sunday while she awaited the results of the interview. Too bad that was not the case.

While, I have a 2 bedroom condo, I told my Mother for the last month that I was getting a roommate and the new roomie would be moving in on a certain date. Guess she didn't want to, or chose not to, hear that part and kept hinting that she'd live in my extra bedroom. There would be no way in hell that I would let that happen. People think I'm being mean, because they don't understand the history. Like I said before I love my Mother but I just cannot live with her and what I'll call her idiosyncrasies.

Without getting into too much family business, which I rather keep personal, we do not have what I call a traditional Mother & Daughter relationship. As I think back, I haven't spent this many consecutive days with my Mother since I was 9 years old, TWENTY years ago, when my Father was granted custody of me. My Mother has been unstable (mentally) for as long as I can remember. Truthfully, I'm sure I'd be able to better deal with her if she was on some type of medication, but she refuses to accept that she has a problem and lashes out at anyone who mentions that she should seek help. It's gotten to a point that her family members have just gotten used to her excessive calling at all times of the day and night, paranoia and fanatical stories, that any sane person would know doesn't make an ounce of sense. They just say "You know how she is, pray for her." What she needs is more than prayer.

I've been able to deal with her in spurts but I've never had to be around her for this long. I've trying to be nice and supportive but I'm at my wits end. I really don't want to kick my Mom out but for my own sanity, I need for her to go.


  1. Sounds like you need to sit her down and talk to her. Remind her that the roommate is coming.

    My mother and I know that we can't live together. That once a child has had their own taste of freedom, it's hard to live with them (won't say by their rules) because I'm sure we all have things that we don't want our parents to know about.

  2. I admire you for allowing your mother to move in temporarily, I can't say that I would do the same thing.