A Little Midweek Humor...Random Thoughts

A friend recently sent me a forward, not sure where she got it from, but the title was Random thoughts from people our age... and it was hilarious. I couldn't include all of the quotes because it would've been too long so I posted my favorites (highlighted some in purple that I really liked). Enjoy!

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
• Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn'twork? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boardsor FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
• LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"
• My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us."Classy, bro.
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.
• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incrediblynervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance. What a waste.
• When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com andthe link takes me to a video instead of text.
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four peopleeating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating bymyself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.