A Woman Of Many Hats: RIP Dr. Dorothy Irene Height

It is with a heavy heart that I'm writing this blog this morning.  I was awakened by phone calls, text messages and BBMs to inform me of the passing of Dr. Dorothy Irene Height. 

Dr. Height is most known by the general public for her 40 year position as President of the National Council of Negro Women.  She is also known to my Sorors as the 10th National President of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, a position she held from 1947-1956.

It was just a month ago that I remember singing Happy Birthday to her along with those attending the Greater Washington Urban League's Annual Whitney M. Young Gala. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a very emotional person but I almost shed a tear while singing as I thought about how she had lived so long and had done so much for our community through her work in the Civil Rights era and beyond. 

A week after that joyous celebration, on March 24 her actual 98th birthday, I was saddened to hear she had been hospitalized.  I immediately called my Aunt who lives in the same building with Dr. Height and is friends with her long-time assistant to get the inside scoop.  She told me she hadn't heard anything but that it wasn't looking good.  Later I found out she had been sworn the secrecy and was not able to tell me the severity of Dr. Height's condition.

Several years ago, before my journey in Delta began, I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Height on the 90th anniversary of the founding of Delta Sigma Theta (January 13, 2003).  I remember her having a warm spirit and how inviting she was.  Since then, I've heard her speak on several occasions and have read her memoir Open Wide The Freedom Gate. 

Although, I didn't know her personally, I can say she's truly made an impact on my life.  When I go out and volunteer, I think about how she was able to accomplish so much during her lifetime through the service she's provided to others, it reminds me that my efforts aren't in vain.  If I can accomplish only a quarter of what she was able to get done, I'll know my life has been a success.

Most people don't know that Dr. Height never married nor had any children.  Even though she never had any offspring, she has served as a role model to countless women around the globe.  With that said, Dr. Dorothy Irene Height, you will truly be missed and I will always remember you as a women who wore many hats, both literally and figuratively. AOML

WWWTW: KFC Double Down Sandwich

WWWTW = What's Wrong With The World

So I was watching the local news and the two anchors showed a clip from Saturday Night Live featuring a new sandwich from Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) called the Double Down.  I thought it was a joke until the anchors unveiled they were going to do a taste test on live TV. 

As you can see from the photo to the left, the Double Down is a sandwich with 2 slices of cheese and 2 pieces of bacon which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't served between 2 CHICKEN BREASTS.  There's no bread bun, the 2 pieces of fried chicken serve as the bun.  Really?  How fat can you be to even order that?  If anyone were to wonder why Americans are becomer more obese, this is one of the clear reasons why. 

I find it interesting how the government can regulate drugs and what can and cannot be said on TV but they can't (or choose not to) regulate these ridiculous food options chain restaurants are coming out with.  The FDA needs to get on their job because this is not acceptable.

Community Service: I LOVE Old People!

I don't know what it is but I've always been fascinated with old people.  I could be PC and say I love the elderly, senior citizens, or the wise, but when I say old people you know what I mean.

I remember my first time going to a Nursing Home.  One of the youth groups I was a part of growing up was invited to sing Christmas carols for the residents.  I remember being hesitant at first because I always thought of nursing homes as a hospital for old people and since hospitals freaked me out I was leery.  When we went to sing and I saw the faces of all the seniors and how excited they were to have us, I instantly fell in love.  They were so gracious and thanked us for spending time with them.  That moment fueled my passion to work with the elderly.

In college, it seemed like all the rage was to be a part of Habitat for Humanity or to be a tutor.  While I tried those things, I never got the same satisfaction as what came from that experience I had at the nursing home. 

During the middle of my sophomore year in college, I had an epiphany.  One night I stayed up researching programs that provided services to the elderly and became determined to start my own organization.  I came across a program called Adopt-A-Grandparent and corresponded with the founder who was based in Atlanta for advice on starting my own program.  That December, I along with another young lady and a couple of friends started the first collegiate chapter at Florida A&M University.  Our mission was to provide companionship the the elderly through weekly visits each and every Saturday from 10-12 and included arts & crafts, playing games, pampering parties, even hosting a pageant.

The first interest meeting was a little sparse but I was enthusiastic about undertaking this project and that enthusiasm spread among those who came.  Over the next two years we had over 200 students from FAMU & Florida State to serve as volunteers and went from going to one nursing home to having so many volunteers we divided them up and provided service to 3 senior living facilities in Tallahassee.  Since then I've continued my work with seniors and it never fails to be a rewarding experience. 

Time for my plug...Currently, I work with IONA Senior Services delivering meals one weekend a month to seniors, many of whom live independently, in Washington, DC.  I've been doing it for nearly 3 years now and it continues to be a highlight in my life.  If you're in DC and looking to give back, I would highly recommend volunteering with IONA.  They are always in need of assistance from weekend meal delivery, to assisting with their art and fitness programs, or even going on trips with the adult day care.  If you're elsewhere you can volunteer with your local Meals on Wheels, they're everywhere.  You never know who you'll meet, one of those old people might change your life.

The People of Port-au-Prince

Listening the news reports of what happened in Haiti yesterday I had absolutely no idea of the magnitude of what had actually occured. 

At first, I thought it was just an earthquake like the ones in California where a few buildings might get a little shaken up, food flies off the shelves in grocery stores but within a few minutes everything would back to normal.

It wasn't until I saw a report on CNN this morning that said possibly hundreds of thousands, not hundreds or thousands but hundreds of thousands, of people may have been killed that I realized the seriousness of what happened.  That is still resonating in my mind.  I still can't even fathom the total destruction that occured.  The pictures to the left are of the National Palace before and after the earthquake.

 I've spent most of the morning researching Haiti and trying to learn more about the history of earthquakes in Haiti.  Just came across a very interesting article that was posted in October 2008.  See a brief passage below.

Haiti is no stranger to large quakes with the destruction of Palais Sans Souci near the Citadelle in 1842. It has also been 200 years since any major seismic activity has occurred in Port-au-Prince. This means that the level of built up stress and energy in the earth could one day be released resulting in an earthquake measuring 7.2 or more on the Richter Scale. This would be an event of catastrophic proportions in a city with loose building codes, and an abundance of shanty-towns built in ravines and other undesirable locations. Even the super-rich may not be immune as many own homes with great views, but precariously perched on the mountainsides above Petionville, on ground which is also susceptible to landslides. (To read the entire article, click here)

 What happened in Haiti is simply something that I would have never expected, but apparently geographers knew this was going to happen.  I've been to the Dominican Republic several times, which shares the island with Haiti, and I had no idea that Haiti lies on a fault which made it prone to earthquakes.

My heart truly goes out to the people of Haiti, especially those who've lost loved ones and those who are trapped hoping to be found.  All we can do now is pray and make an effort to donate money and time, if possible, to spread the word to others that even if they don't have much to give something is better than nothing.

Found some ways on how to give to Haiti online, feel free to post other options.

American Red Cross (text 90999 to donate $10 via the Red Cross)
Yele (you can also text “Yele” to the number 501501 to donate $5)
AmeriCares
CARE
Direct Relief International

Moving On

I've been back in the Washington, D.C. area since April 2007. When I was searching for a new condo, I was planning to move to either Northern Virginia (Arlington, Alexandria, Crystal City) and Montgomery County (Bethesda, Silver Spring). Growing up in Prince George's County, I was familiar with the area but knew that I didn't want to move even remotely close to the city where I grew up. It's a nice community, or at least it was, for families but isn't really a place for young, single people.

So after looking for a while, I ended up buying a place in Prince George's County after all.  It was cool at first until I realized there is no diversity whatsoever.  I've always lived places where there was a mix of people. The closest I came to living around all Brown people was when I lived in NY, but the brown faces consisted of Af-Ams, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, and other Hispanics.  Don't get me wrong, I love my people (sometimes :-)) but the area where I live now leaves much to be desired.

The people are rude. I'd see my next door neighbor and she wouldn't speak. Me being the person I am, I like to kill 'em with kindness, so I'd go out of my way to speak, it took months to finally get a half smile from her. Is it really that big of a deal to speak to your next door neighbor? Since then she's moved and the man who owns the condo next to mine has had a string of horrible tenants who seem to be used to living more in Section 8 housing than in a normal condo.  They have no respect when it comes to playing their music, even had one who used to play a conga drum at night. They'd fight and yell in the hallway.  When someone comes to pick them up, instead of walking to the door they'd honk the horn all times of night.  I'd never have peace in my own home.  Fortunately, they leave and it's gotten a little better.  I've never lived in the projects but I could imagine this was what it would be like.

Every time I go to the trash I end up picking up litter because people drop all types of garbage on the ground and don't even have the decency to pick it up. I'm not used to people not taking ownership of where they live, even if they are renters. When I did live in apartments (with more diverse neighbors), I never saw people who had such a blatant disregard for where they lived.  My condo association sends out monthly newsletters but I'm sure the people who are the culprits don't even read them.

They are disrespectful. As I sat in the waiting room of my local NTB, a young couple came in with a little boy who couldn't have been more than 18 months old. The father was talking loud and using every expletive he could think of and half the time he said these things while holding the baby. It got to a point where I got up, shot him a look and sat back down.  I'm nobody's Mother but I've learned from the best of them how to give someone a piercing look to make them be quiet.

I don't know if these people just don't care or if it's because no one’s told them what's inappropriate from what's not. The waiting from was full of older people who just sat there and didn't say a word.  Any one of them could have asked the guy to watch his mouth but they just sat there oblivious to it all and didn't open their mouths.

Every time I take the Metro, which isn't that often, I dread sitting near any teenagers. Those kids, who 95% of the time are Black, get on and start acting a fool. They curse, use vulgar language and have no consideration for those who are subjected to hearing them.  They'll curse in front of someone who could be their Grandmother and don't even care. It makes me sick and I'm tired of it.

Next fall, I'm determined to rent out my place and move. I'm not sure where yet but we'll see. I can't take being in an environment where people have no concern for anyone but themselves. People like that are dangerous.  My days in Prince George's County are coming to an end.

Keeping Up With The Jones

As you may know, I get a lot of my inspiration from my friends and people I associate with but I also am inspired by those I follow on Twitter.  Today, one of the young ladies I follow posted the tweet below:

@jdantv You have to remember that this is the first generation of blacks that may not do as well as their parents...

When I saw the first part of her comment, I thought about a conversation I had with a friend not too long ago about this very same topic.  It seems as if the children of middle-upper middle class families are not doing nearly as well as our parents.  Even though we have the education, in most cases, we have not reached the same level financially as our parents.

As I think about where my parents were at my age, they had been married for like 5 years, my Mother was pregnant with me, they had a nice home, both had a Masters degree and a law degree and were gainfully employed.  Growing up, I lived in a nice size house, my parents took international trips every year, drove nice cars, were members of certain organizations and they had all of the accoutrements that came along with being part of the upper-middle class.

Although, I try not to compare myself to my parents it's hard.  I know that I've accomplished a lot over the years and have a rewarding career, but I can't help but feel like I still have not made it.  I try to look at all of the positive things that I've done and relish in the fact that I am where I need to be.  I'm not trying to keep up with my parents or their friends.  I'm definitely not trying to keep up with the Jones or the Johnsons or the Witherspoons.  I'm just trying to be me.

I'm Going to EGYPT!

If you follow me on Twitter you've probably read a tweet or two about my planned vacation to Egypt. It's been in the works for nearly a year, can't believe the time is finally here. I've been abroad before but this is my first time visiting the continent of Africa.

I love traveling! I've made it my goal to take at least one international trip every year, even if just to the islands.



Something tells me that this is going to be a life-changing experience. I'm so glad that I have this opportunity to go at this time in my life. A few years ago, I might have said no to going, not because I didn't want to go but because I wasn't making enough money to be able to afford such a trip (not that I'm making money like that now) I've just learned the value of making short term sacrifices to get what I want in the long term. I also found it to be a great time because I'm single with no children so there's nothing holding me back.

When I first learned of the trip, I tried to get some of my friends to come but none of them ended up working out for one reason or another. So this vacation will be spent with my parents (Dad & Step-mom), Aunt, my Step-brother and a few of my parent's friends. My Aunt is going to be my roommate. Don't get me wrong I love her, but someone please pray for me because that little woman can snore. You'd never imagine someone so petite could snore the way she does, it's crazy. Apparently she has sleep apnea, so it makes her to snoring worse. But I'm not going to think about that.

Can't wait to take pictures in front of the Sphinx, at the Temple at Karnak, on the boat while cruising down the Nile, and on our planned camel ride. It's always something I studied in school or watched programs about on TV. I'm excited at the thought that this dream is going to soon become reality. With that said, I won't be blogging for the next 2 weeks. I'll make sure to post some photos when I return. Please pray (if that's something you do) for our safe travel and return!

Detoxing

After going to the doctor for my annual visit last week I left in shock. As the physician's assistant moved the slider to 100 then the other slider crept past 30, I knew something had to be done. My real problem is I'm a foodie. I love food.

Lately, I've been busy running from activity to activity and meeting and meeting which has caused me to not eat how I'm used to. I've never been one to gorge on a lot of food but snacking is my downfall, especially if it's sweet or salty I'll eat it. I decided to do some research and came across a few detox diets that would help me get back to my ideal weight.

I haven't told many of my friends about this whole detox dieting plan, unless they invited me to a happy hour or dinner this week and demanded to know why I wasn't coming, because I don't want to hear what they have to say. One of my male friends insisted that I was fine and didn't need to lose any weight. I'm naturally petite and people always ask me if I work out, which I don't and I know I need to. I know what a healthy weight for my body and frame is so I'm not going to be content until I'm back at that weight. After the detox, I have a lot of traveling for work and personal, so I'm going to have to focus on eating healthy and trying to walk more while the weather's still nice.

Prior to starting this detox diet, the only detox I knew about was the Master Cleanse, what Beyonce did when she was trying to lose weight for Dreamgirls a few years ago. Basically it consists of drinking a concoction of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and some water. The detox I'm doing is not even close to that extreme. I'm also only doing it for 7 days, my goal is to lose 10 pounds, but I'd be happy with losing 8.

My meal plan looks something like this:

Breakfast:
Berries (blueberries, raspberries, strawberries)
or a Berry shake with some soy milk, vinegar, flaxseeds

Mid-Morning Snack:
Green Tea (no sugar only honey) w/ orange slices

Lunch:
Lean piece of chicken or salmon with fresh vegetables (broccoli, onions, garlic, sprayed w/ lemon juice and a sprinkle of sea salt) Spinach is also recommended but I don't eat it. They also say to eat "colon-friendly" foods, you know what that means so I'm not going into details.

Mid-Afternoon Snack:
Green Tea (no sugar only honey) and raw carrot sticks

Dinner:
Similar to lunch

The key is to stay hydrated so you can cleanse the toxins out of your body. I do this by drinking at least 4 bottles of water and 2-3 cups of green tea each day.

I'm on day #2 of the detox and as of today I've already dropped 3 pounds, not bad. It actually feels good to be eating better. Hopefully, I will make this a part of my routine and be more careful about what I put into my body.

Breaking Down Bougie

I'm pretty sure just about everyone knows what I mean by the term "bougie". Just in case there are some who aren't familiar with the term "bougie" is derived from the french word "bourgeoisie" referring to a class of people. Below are some definitions, I've pulled relating to the word bourgeoisie.

Wikipedia definition: Bourgeoisie is a classification used in analyzing human societies to describe a social class of people. Historically, the bourgeoisie comes from the middle or merchant classes of the Middle Ages, whose status or power came from employment, education, and wealth, as distinguished from those whose power came from being born into an aristocratic family of land owners.

Merriam Webster defines it as: middle class; also plural in construction : members of the middle class

I think it's interesting how such a simple word produces so many feelings and issues among Black, mainly African-American, people. Somehow the term "bougie" has been made to be synonymous with stuck up, arrogant, obnoxious, people who think they are better than others.

At first, when people would say that I was bougie, I'd say something back in retaliation but after a while it got old and I figured it was pointless. People assume if you come from a certain upbringing, live in a certain neighborhood, speak/dress/act a certain way, you're bougie.

It doesn't matter to some people that I work for a nonprofit and every week, I spend time doing some type of community service project and involved with a number of organizations whose sole purpose is to make a difference in our community and our world. All they see is a well-groomed young lady who carries herself with some dignity and class and I'm grouped into the category of being bougie.

It always amazes me when people assume that I went to certain schools. I went to your average public high school (although my parents wanted me to go to a private school) and I attended not one, but two, HBCUs for undergrad and graduate schools. I never aspired to attend an Ivy-League. Recently, I went to happy hour with one of my linesisters and met this guy she went to school with. He had already made up in his mind that he knew me. Eventually I shared with him that I was raised in Prince George's County, MD and told him what high school I went this. Can you believe he had the nerve to say, "You hide it well." I was completely taken aback by his comment. I'm never anyone else but me. I act the same exact way whether I'm around Blacks, Whites, Asians, or Hispanics, I've never had the need to act differently in order to assimilate, I am who I am.

While I did grow up in Jack & Jill (there's a certain reputation or stigma that comes along w/ being a member of that organization, I'll probably blog about that later down the line) and my parents are members of a fraternity and sorority and in organizations like The Links and The Boulé. Being in Jack & Jill exposed me to many new things. I would never say it made me better, but more well-rounded. We were being taught the importance of proper etiquette for young ladies, went to teas, dinners and various cultural events, and had the chance to wear elegant formal dresses and be introduced at a Cotillion. I never thought that gave me an edge up on anybody or used that as an excuse to think that made me better than anyone else. I never looked down on people who weren't apart of the organization and I can't stand when people question the relevance of such organizations.

I learned a long time ago the saying "Perception is reality" is true. Whether or not it's my own reality or what someone else perceive me to be, is going to be their reality and there's nothing that I can do to change their minds. Call me what you want, but I know who I am, where I came from, and what I'm here to do. So whether you think I'm Bougie or not, I'm just me!

Mommy Dearest

I'll begin this post by saying I love my Mother dearly, but I can't deal with being around her for an extended period of time. I'm on Day 8 of her staying with me. I wish she'd told me what her intentions were and how long she'd planned on staying, so I could make other arrangements. Little did I know her intention was to be a squatter at my place until she found a job, guess she forgot to tell me that.

At the beginning of last week my Mother calls me and says she's coming to MD for an interview. Mind you she hasn't worked in nearly a year when she packed up one day and moved back to FL to live with relatives then eventually my Grandmother, but that's another story. I get another phone call on Thursday saying that she's on her way. She doesn't end up showing up at my place until after midnight with a car filled to capacity with her life's possessions. After the initial formalities, my first response was you sure have a lot of luggage. She said she had an interview the next day and needed to crash, so I just figured she'd go on her interview and be gone by Sunday while she awaited the results of the interview. Too bad that was not the case.

While, I have a 2 bedroom condo, I told my Mother for the last month that I was getting a roommate and the new roomie would be moving in on a certain date. Guess she didn't want to, or chose not to, hear that part and kept hinting that she'd live in my extra bedroom. There would be no way in hell that I would let that happen. People think I'm being mean, because they don't understand the history. Like I said before I love my Mother but I just cannot live with her and what I'll call her idiosyncrasies.

Without getting into too much family business, which I rather keep personal, we do not have what I call a traditional Mother & Daughter relationship. As I think back, I haven't spent this many consecutive days with my Mother since I was 9 years old, TWENTY years ago, when my Father was granted custody of me. My Mother has been unstable (mentally) for as long as I can remember. Truthfully, I'm sure I'd be able to better deal with her if she was on some type of medication, but she refuses to accept that she has a problem and lashes out at anyone who mentions that she should seek help. It's gotten to a point that her family members have just gotten used to her excessive calling at all times of the day and night, paranoia and fanatical stories, that any sane person would know doesn't make an ounce of sense. They just say "You know how she is, pray for her." What she needs is more than prayer.

I've been able to deal with her in spurts but I've never had to be around her for this long. I've trying to be nice and supportive but I'm at my wits end. I really don't want to kick my Mom out but for my own sanity, I need for her to go.

Sit Back & Relax

Last weekend I took a trip with 5 of my girlfriends to the mountains, the Blue Ridge Mountains to be exact. We stayed in a luxurious cabin, with an amazing view, in the middle of nowhere. The weekend was very low-key and included massages, a jazz festival, wine tastings and a tour of the winery near where we stayed at The Chateau Morrisette. (I highly recommend this place! If you are willing to drive, it's 300+ miles from DC, but well worth it. Blue Ridge Real Estate offers many option of timeshares you can rent, our package was only $115 per person which included the housing, dinner, massage, & wine tasting/tour)

But anyway, enough of the free promotion. Being away from the fast-pace of the city definitely gave me some time to clear my mind and attempt to sort through some things. When I got there I figured that I'd be without cell phone service, but I hoped for the best. It's funny how you never realize how connected you are until you have no other forms of communication than face-to-face. No calling, no texting, no tweeting, what's a girl to do to entertain herself?

Needless to say, the girls and I did a lot of talking. The conversations mainly revolved around our favorite topic, Men, of course. That always seems to be the topic of discussion these days because as succesful, professional, Black women we have a hard time trying to find and keep a man. We talked about the different men in our lives. We talked about how some of them don't want to be caught and how they have so many options these days, it's hard to find one who's ready to settle down. We talked about how we were tired of the games Men play and us having the play them back in hopes of snagging them. We even talked about how many of our friends and family members have started settling just for the sake of companionship, not because they were actually in love with the person.

The weekend was full of many insightful discussions. I'm glad I had the chance to get away to have some time to say out loud some of the things that have been bothering me surrounded by supportive friends, many who are dealing with similar issues as it relates to relationships and the men in our lives. I definitely still have some issues I'm trying to work through but I'm going to try to take at least one day each month to reflect on my life, my goals, and what the future holds for me. It's a struggle to make time to do nothing but sometimes you just have to sit back and relax.

Where is the Justice for Jada?

My name is DynamicDiva and I'm addicted to Twitter. I love it not because I like to hear myself talk (or tweet) but because I learn so much while on it and find out about breaking news stories before it even hits the mainstream media.

Recently, the people I follow on Twitter alerted me to the Shooting at the Holocaust Museum (which is only blocks from my job); the accident on the Metro's Red Line; and most recently the story about a missing black girl named Jada Justice.

Jada Justice is a two-year old girl from Gary, Indiana who was reported missing on June 16, 2009. What breaks my heart the most is that it's been over a week and I am just hearing about this. I'm a digger for information and pride myself on being knowledgeable about what is going on locally and globally. The media has all but ignored this case. I'm not going to say it's because she's a poor, Black child from Gary, Indiana but I have a feeling that has something to do with it.

It's disappointing that the media doesn't feel the need to draw any attention to Jada Justice's case. This child been missing for over a week and it is just now getting the attention of people like CNN's Nancy Grace? Here's the link. A week is a long time for a child to be missing. How can we be vigilant and on the look out when we don't even know she's missing?

Everyone knows about the Caylee Anthony case. It was on the news every single day all across the country for months, from the day she was reported missing July 2008 until it was announced her body was found in December 2008. Little Jada has been missing for a week and I have yet to hear about it in my local newspapers or local television stations. It's amazing to me how they can run a segment on a Nun who's running across the dessert for charity but they can't mention that a two-year old girl is missing. All I can say is someone's priorities are messed up!

If you're reading this and you're on twitter please RT the following:
Where's Jada? Missing Black Child Ignored by Major Media http://bit.ly/1410s5 Help Find #jadajustice

If you use Facebook, MySpace, or are a blogger, please make sure you let your network know about the Jada Justice case.

We cannot let the case of Jada Justice continue to go unnoticed. It is up to us to stand up and voice our concerns about the lack of media coverage for this innocent child. We must ask ourselves, where is the Justice for Jada?

Interesting Statistics on Missing Children
(information from http://www.kidsearchnetwork.org/research-statistics.html)

The Kidsearch Network believes that Immediate Response by an experienced search team is necessary. because,

• There is typically over a two hour delay in making the initial missing child report (60%)
• The vast majority (74%) of the abducted children who are murdered are dead within three hours of the abduction. (Source: Attorney General of the State of Washington, who did a study of cases reported to law enforcement in 1997)
• There are estimated to be about 100 cases per year in the US where a child is abducted and murdered.
• The victims of these cases are "average" children, leading normal lives, and living with normal families, typical low-risk victims.
• The vast majority of them are girls (76%), with the average age being slightly over 11 years of age.
• In 80% of cases, the initial contact between the victim and killer is within 1/4 mile of the victim's residence.
• Family involvement in this type of case is infrequent (9%). However, the relationship between the victim and the killer varies with the gender and age of the victim.
• The youngest females, 1-5 years old, tend to be killed by friends or acquaintances (64%), while the oldest females, 16-17 years old, tend to be killed by strangers (also 64%).

Umm Why Isn't There a Cure for AIDS?

Sometimes, well actually all the time, I have very random thoughts. Recently, I was thinking why isn't there a cure for AIDS?

Everyone remembers when Earvin "Magic" Johnson was interviewed by Linda Ellerbee back in the early 1990s and announced he had contracted HIV. That was such a different day and age. I remember watching movies like Philadelphia where Denzel Washington's character was afraid to shake Tom Hanks' hand because at that time no one knew how the virus was spread. There was such a huge stigma attached to those who had HIV and AIDS.

Fast forward to 2009, and Magic says that he no longer has HIV. Well, I guess it's not that he doesn't have HIV but because of the medication he takes, his HIV hasn't progressed and when he takes tests they come up as Negative.
What I want to know is, how many people really live with HIV for 15-20 years? I know he's rich but how could he be the only one who's been able to keep the virus from turning into full-blown AIDS after all these years. Does anyone else think this is strange?

Another thing...When women with HIV/AIDS have babies doctors give them certain medications which help to prevent them from transferring the virus to their newborns. (http://www.avert.org/motherchild.htm) If this concept help lessen the spread of the virus from mother-to-child through vaginal birth, why hasn't a drug been invented that these same women could take to keep them from infecting their partners?

I'm not a doctor nor do I claim to be knowledgeable about infectious diseases. I just want to know why it seems like the spread of AIDS is getting worse. It's scary to think Washington, D.C., the Nation's Capital, has more people infected with HIV/AIDS than some West African countries, according to the results of a 2008 study that were announced in March of 2009, click here to read more. Some things just don't make sense and the fact that we don't seem any closer to finding a cure for AIDS is one of those things. Just my thoughts.

Life of a Nonprofit Diva

So those who know me know that I can be a bit of a diva, depending on how well you know me. It's not so much a diva in a bitchy kind of way but I know what I want and how to get it. I used this ability in everyday life and while working in Corporate America.

I worked for two Fortune 500 companies after grad school but after a while I realized it wasn't for me. Nearly two years ago, I made the switch to nonprofit. Although, I'd volunteered for every type of charity you could imagine since I was young, I had never worked for a nonprofit. Let me tell you it was not only a culture shock but a shock to my bank account.

Working in Corporate America, if I wanted to go out and buy the hottest bag or jewelry, as long as my bills were paid I could do it. I've always had expensive tastes, that's just how I was raised and what I've grown accustomed to. When I bought my new car, my old one was dying and I decided I needed to step my game up so I decided to invest in a nicer but starter, luxury car. (People seem to think it cost more than it did but that's on them.) Hey, I was in B2B sales and we were expected to have an air about us to be able to successfully negotiate with CEOs and decision makers within companies we were trying to win business from. In my line of work having a nice car only added to your credibility.

One day, I realized the life of wheeling and dealing really wasn't for me so I started looking for other opportunities. During this time, I was determined to make the switch from Corporate America to nonprofit. I knew that I would never find a nonprofit that would pay me what I was making in sales so I began to cut back on my spending. I found a roommate who was also interested in saving some money each month. It's been a great partnership having someone to help me out with the mortgage and also having someone else there for safety.

And anyone who knows me knows that I love to shop. Fortunately, the company that I worked part time (PT) with through grad school, then went on to work in their corporate offices in NY, has allowed me to have a very flexible PT schedule over the years. Having a PT job allows me to not only have a fabulous discount on the things I love most but it allows me to buy the things I want, whereas the full-time pays for the things I need.

Working for a nonprofit has definitely humbled me. While I'm not getting the salary I think I deserve compared to my counterparts with similar positions in Corporate America, the experience, growth opportunities, benefits, far outweigh that of a salary. I think, well no I know, I've learned more in the last few years in nonprofit than I probably would have in 5-7 years working in Corporate America. My boss is extremely supportive of me and my career and is always encouraging me to attend various events and go to trainings.

True, I've had to make a lot of sacrifices whether it's not being able to travel on a whim due to working the PT one day on the weekend, or not being able to spend lots of money on entertainment and going out. Those sacrifices are minimal to what I've been able to learn. Working for a nonprofit, has given me the opportunity to see that money is not and should not be my only motivation behind having a job. Instead, this nonprofit diva has a passion for being able to make a difference in the lives of others.

Can't Take Life For Granted

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have quite a few different circles of friends. One of my friends is my girl because she's always the life of the party, she's always down for the cause whether it's going to happy hour, checking out the latest hot spot, or to just hang out with only a moments notice.

I hadn't heard from her all week so I emailed her on Friday with a list of things to do this weekend. A few hours ago I checked my email and saw the following message.

I might have ms girl, thank God everyday for health.

My first reaction was WHAT? What do you mean you might have MS as in Multiple Sclerosis? Secondly who puts that in an email? I immediately picked up the phone to call her. When she finally answered I asked her where was all of this coming from. She explained how she'd been showing symptoms of MS like her legs feeling weak, having tremors, and constantly rocking. She said she went to the doctor earlier in the week and he explained to her the symptoms were there but she'd have to have an MRI to find out for sure if she had it or not.

Our entire conversation was crazy because in the 2 years that I've known her, I've never seen her this vulnerable. She's always so upbeat and full of life. She started talking about how we must not take life for granted and how she may never get married or have kids. I tried to sound positive and told her not to think like that because her diagnosis wasn't final and even if she does find out she has MS her life isn't over. Then she attempted some humor saying something like, I'm glad all of my friends like to volunteer so when I'm crippled and in a wheelchair you all will accept me as I am. Although I kind of smirked when she made the comment, I couldn't help but picture her that way and had to shake the image from my head. I told her to stop talking like that and to stay positive and reassured her that she would be fine.

It's hard to hear that your 29 year-old friend could possibly have a debilitating disease like that of MS. It's one of those diseases you hear about "other" people having like the late-comedian Richard Pryor or singer Tamia, not something that could affect your friend who hasn't even reached 30.

It just reminds me that life is so precious and that I should never take it for granted. I'm so thankful that I'm healthy, have family and friends who love me, have use of my limbs and the ability to hear and to see, have a job that I enjoy. I've been blessed in so many ways I could never list everything. When things like this happen, it makes you realize how trivial, insignificant things cannot even compare to how someone who is diagnosed with something like MS, cancer, HIV could really feel.

It's so easy to take life for granted but when I think of all of the challenges I could be facing, it makes it easy to remain humble. I constantly have to remind myself that I only have one life to live so I need to make the most of it.

Why I hate C.P. Time

I’m a pretty easy-going person but one of my biggest pet peeves is C.P. Time. Everyone knows what C.P. Time stands for, Colored People’s Time. Well, I have a serious problem with it. The problem is not that I follow C.P. time but my problem is with everyone else who does. I swear for the life of me whatever it is whether a potluck, dinner reservations, happy hour, the people I go with are always late. I run in many circles and like 90% of the time my party will be late. Most restaurants won’t seat you until your entire party is there so you’re left there to wait or lose your reservation.

Am I the only one that has a sense of time and understands the importance of being timely? Even as a child, I remember being the last one at daycare, after school, ballet practice, whatever because my Dad would always be late, he's still a major C.P. Time offender. Back then, I remember being upset that I was always the last the get picked up and vowed that when I was older I would not follow the same pattern of lateness. And to this day, I’m rarely late because I believe in planning.

I think it irritates me because when you take the time out of your schedule to leave work, meetings or other obligations early to just sit and wait for the others to arrive it’s inconsiderate and shows a lack of respect for other people’s time. A few minutes late doesn’t bother me, but it’s when I’m forced to wait for 30 minutes or even an hour without receiving a phone call, a text message, something, that's just inconsiderate. A simple call/text to say you're running late or looking for parking is understandable. What takes the cake is when you call these people to find out where they are and they tell you they’re on the way knowing full well that they are still at home and they live 30 minutes away.

I am a firm believer in the saying time is money. My time is valuable and I believe that it’s important to respect other's time. For the future when I plan something, I’m going to start making the reservation for 30 minutes after I tell everyone to get there, that way hopefully they’ll end up being on time.

NYC: Hate it or love it!

Being in New York last week for a conference reminded me of how much I have a love/hate relationship with the city. On one hand the food, shopping, culture are amazing but on the other hand the city smells, there's trash everywhere, and the people can be a little rough around the edges.

My experience living in NYC began after grad school, I moved there to pursue a job opportunity with, in my opinion, the greatest store in all of the world Saks Fifth Avenue. Through knowing the right people, I was accepted into their Executive Excellence Program Training Program. My coworkers were an interesting bunch but mostly young, rich, and White who had families well connected in the high-end retail industry.

At first living and working in the city took a little getting used to, especially the public transit system but I made it happen. I also lived in a somewhat sketchy neighborhood in Spanish Harlem, but I was okay with it because the people in my building were actually nice, the apartment was huge by NY standards and we had a balcony overlooking Central Park. In my apartment there were four girls and 1 (yes, ONE) bathroom, but we managed to never have a single problem. To this day, I still don't know how I did it.

I was determined to stay there for a year to complete the program and see where I’d go from there. Working in Midtown across from Rockefeller Center during Christmas time was beautiful but the crowds were a nightmare. Tourists from all over the world spilled onto the sidewalks all day, everyday for nearly a month, making the 1 block walk from the bus stop a 15 minute hike. I was never really bothered by tourists until I lived here. Last week, my hotel was like 2 blocks from Times Square, thinking about the crowds still irks me.

Between my adventures of chasing an attempted mugger in sandals to get my friend’s Marc Jacobs bag back to having a mouse (and no I don’t mean Mickey) for a roommate, living in NYC was definitely an experience. I think in the long run it made me a better person and more aggressive. Living there you have to develop that New York State of Mind.

Much respect to my BFF from college and some of my other friends who’ve been there 5+ years. After all is said in done, I am glad to have had the opportunity to have lived there. Would I do it again? Definitely! I don’t have any regrets and the experience adds to the uniqueness I call my life.

Networking Is Overrated

So I've always been a very involved person, I think it started in high school, you name it, I did it. College and grad school was much of the same. I've always enjoyed being busy and being surrounded by people who could nurture me as an individual both personally and professionally.

Now, I'm a member of many organizations including my alumni association, numerous business/civic associations, and my Sorority. Lately, everyone is all caught up in "networking". We've all heard the saying, "It's not what you know, it's who you know," but often times I feel like networking is so overrated.

In my experience, at meetings and networking events I go to you meet someone, speak briefly, exchange business cards and never hear from that person again. I usually try to send a brief follow-up email but it never seems to progress. I feel like the only time the networking encounter evolves into more is if the other person is trying to holler. That is all well and good but if I'm trying to get to know you on a professional level, to help me advance my career, I'm not really trying to go out on a date with you. Nor am I interested in a quid pro quo relationship.

I'm sure there has to be a more effective way to meet people but as of now, I'm over the whole "networking" thing. I hoped by networking I'd be able to find a mentor but as of now I've had no such luck, any suggestions or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Gorgeous Prince George's

I moved to the suburbs of DC with my parents right before starting kindergarten. We lived in a nice house in a diverse neighborhood located in what was once referred to as "PG County", please call it Prince George's County.

Growing up, most of my friends had two working parents and were raised to respect our elders and taught morals and values. At that time we went to our local schools because they were safe, our teachers lived in our community and you could get a good public school education. Boy, have things changed.

As I got older I noticed there seemed to be a shift. Gradually, a certain demographic, mainly older Caucasian who moved there to retire, began to move away and others started to move in.

When it was time to go to high school, I decided to go to a public school that was known for it's Science & Technology program versus going to a private school like my parents wanted. I would definitely say at first it was somewhat of a culture shock even my school was only 5 minutes away. Here I was used to living in my own little world, where everyone lived in a house and had 2 middle, upper-middle class parents. I wouldn't say that I was sheltered, I was very involved in church and various activities, but was always surrounded by people who were for the most part like me. High school definitely prepared me for the real world and for being able to relate to all people regardless of their background and socioeconomic status.

Growing up and until recently, Prince George's county was always touted as the Most Affluent County for African-Americans in the US. I've heard that Fayette County in GA, has since taken over the title but I have yet to find the research to prove it. I moved back to the county two years ago after living in FL for college, ATL for grad school, NYC for work, then back to ATL, by simply watching the news you can tell the perception of the county had changed.

The first thing I noticed was the new slogan "Prince George's County: A County of Livable Communities." What? Seriously what does that mean? A shelter is livable. A jail is livable. I don't know who came up with that but they should be ashamed of themselves, it's so degrading. Every time I see the sign posted up on the median driving home I just shake my head in disgust. Such a slap in the face.

For those in the DMV, if you haven't noticed there is an effort to completely do away with saying "PG County" instead please use the full name, Prince George's County. When I first moved back, I got corrected many times and quickly got used to saying the entire name. Trust me it's really easy plus it sounds better. Notice you never hear people from other counties say they're from CC (Charles County), QA (Queen Anne's), AA (Anne Arundel), etc. People used to say MoCo (Montgomery County) but you rarely hear that these days.

As someone in marketing, I understand the county is trying to rebrand itself in hopes of regaining the elite reputation it was once known for. I have to say I'm glad the National Harbor was finally built. I remember the protests and signs posted in people's yard back in the late 90s. It has brought hundreds, if not thousands, of new jobs, high-dollar real estate to the county and is a destination spot for people from all over the world. Now if only we could get a "real" mall, sorry but Bowie Town Center doesn't cut it. I'm talking like a Tyson's Corner.

I love my county and I'm proud to be back in Gorgeous Prince George's but I'm still trying to figure out what caused the shift? Was I just blind to it living in my small community (if you wondering I grew up in Tantallon, if you couldn't tell, lol) or have things really changed so drastically in the last 10-15 years? Thoughts? Comments?

Customer Service

What ever happened to customer service? I swear every time I go to my local grocery store, a restaurant or a clothing store these days they lack the essential customer service skills. Can I get a hello once in a while?

There have been several times I've gone to the grocery store, walked past people working in the various sections, obviously looking for something specific only to be ignored due to the fact they were having a conversation with another employee or simply oblivious to the fact that they were at work. I especially remember one time listening to two teenage boys working in the dairy section talking about some girl who went to their school and what a freak she was, using her name, explicit details and everything. First of all that was an inappropriate conversation for work and second of all they didn't seem to care who was around I could have been that girls sister for all they knew.

So after not being able to find help, I am forced to deal with what my friends and I refer to as silent transactions. I go to the checkout line and rarely do I hear the cashier say the customary lines like, "Did you find everything okay today" or "Do you have a bonus card?" After they've rung up your items they just stand there. What ever happened to telling the customer what their total was? Really not that difficult, you just have to look at the screen and read the numbers. I swipe my card, enter my pin #, and get handed my receipt. No "Thank you come again", no "Have a great evening", not one single word. Being the kind of person that I am I am known to say something sarcastic like "Oh thank you, you have a great evening as well."

Sometimes it gets so frustrating because I've had several customer service jobs in my life from working as a cashier in the food court at the mall to working as a sales associate for many retail shops and department stores. I just don't understand how you can get a job where you have to deal with customers and you don't possess the skills necessary to put together a sentence.

Who's to blame? Is it the employer who hires these people who could care less about serving the customer they are paid to serve. Or is it due to a break down in our community where people are not taught certain basic skills from their parents such as being friendly or how to relate to others. Or maybe it's just where I live, because I don't see the same behaviors in other areas.

I just don't understand why customer service, especially in areas that are predominantly Black, is so lacking these days. It's unacceptable and I refuse to stand for it. I'm quick to write a letter to a store or restaurant's corporate office. It's not that I'm trying to get something free (which usually happens) or difficult but I think it's important to inform them because some people think they can treat you any kind of way and you'll just accept it. As the saying goes, closed mouths don't get fed. If we don't say anything, things will never change. This applies to not only customer service but life in general.